Drink yourself to death much, much faster by putting this grenade in your beverage. Pull the pin on this bad boy and make your cocktails explosively cold.
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A delightful primer on our impending demise and an excellent way to teach your offspring that they will be dead someday. Forever.
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If you play 11,596 rounds on this beauty, it will have paid for itself, not to mention it's got Galaga from 1988 and 12 other games on it too. It's free after you buy it...
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This giraffe would destroy you if he came into your workspace and saw the current state of your motivational posters, and this one is less than ten bucks, which is pretty motivating.
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This gorgeous 31.75 inch (!!!) super-coated metal shaft is definitely a gay umbrella when it's raining. If it isn't raining now, it will be soon. You just wait.
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She doesn't even need all eight legs to hold up this piece of glass that you can put stuff on. It might make you at least seem somewhat interesting.
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Just press the nostril, catch the hygienic snot rocket on your loofah, and slowly, slowly lather and rub the simulated mucous all over your body.
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Wear this sound system and physically feel the music. A fully immersive and non-restrictive experience that really shines when used while watching porn.
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Collision sensors! Remotely via app set speed limits, slam on the brakes, and set an electric fence to keep your spoiled child within acceptable risk limits.
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Click "MORE DETAILS" to see a review by Donald Trump on this overpriced clock bracelet. "Certified pre-owned" for you penny-pinchers looking to save $100K or so.
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You've either wanted to be her or fantasized about her. Machine washable, so get dirty. Read reviews to see location of tie string in relation to your nipples.
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We'll just leave this here in case your name is Mat with one "t." Otherwise, there are better doormats out there for non-Mat named people.
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Completely closed, balanced, and self-sustaining. Comes with replacement policy in case your shrimp can't go on living in their tiny, tiny world.
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Launch treats at your dog via app. Barking sensor alerts you when dog is barking while you're away so you can reward bad behavior remotely.
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