Relax in the bath (or shower) and have your hands free while you scrub in between sips. If you don't know how to party, you can also just put shampoo in the holder, but let's be honest, that's not what this was designed for.
Hey, I only had one glass of wine, okay? An entire bottle is now one serving, so now you can overindulge guilt free! Pouring the entire bottle into your glass is also an excellent way to aerate the wine!
Can't finish your bottle of wine? Well, shit on that! This will plug up your bottle of wine just as well as this guy is about to plug up the commode, but this stopper will keep your wine much, much fresher than it looks.
"I'm not slurring my words, I'm speaking in cursive." Sounds like a form of denial to us...but in these trying times, the world could use a little more elegance and reverence to the lost arts any chance it gets.