"I'm not slurring my words, I'm speaking in cursive." Sounds like a form of denial to us...but in these trying times, the world could use a little more elegance and reverence to the lost arts any chance it gets.
Relax in the bath (or shower) and have your hands free while you scrub in between sips. If you don't know how to party, you can also just put shampoo in the holder, but let's be honest, that's not what this was designed for.
Hey, I only had one glass of wine, okay? An entire bottle is now one serving, so now you can overindulge guilt free! Pouring the entire bottle into your glass is also an excellent way to aerate the wine!